Siri, Alexa, and Cortana ♀️♀️♀️

I’m not sure what made the thought of roommates who share the names of virtual assistants funny, but it was. I wrote this little cliff hanger story for fun, it wont be getting published, because I’d rather not be sued by Apple, Amazon, or Microsoft.

I’ve included some obscure and some not so obscure references to the actual digital assistants, please comment any that you see in the story

Siri stormed into the apartment, slamming the door behind her.  Alexa looked up from her book.

“Are you OK, Siri?”

“No!  Another blind date, another fucking annoying jackass!”

“More ‘Hey Siri’ Jokes?”

“Yes!  You know, I had the name before that stupid virtual assistant even existed!  But no, every single jackass just has to ask if I was named after the phone app!”

Alexa could relate to Siri’s frustrations.  Ever since the release of the Amazon Alexa, the jokes, comments, and requests to play songs had been non-stop.

“Well, on a positive note, I might have found us a third roommate,” replied Alexa.

“It’s not another airhead bimbo who bursts into uncontrollable giggles every time she says our names is she?”  Their last roommate has been… difficult to live with.  Both Siri and Alexa were glad that she had gotten transferred to the west coast, despite the fact that it had caused their respective rents to increase.

“I don’t think that will be an issue Alexa.  Her name is Cortana.” 

Siri stared incredulously at Alexa.  “You’re joking, right?”

“Nope, she replied to the Craigslist ad this morning.  In fact, she should be here in about 30 minutes.”

Siri walked into her bedroom, deciding to take a shower before meeting the new possible roommate.  She stripped out of her little black dress.  It had definitely been a waste of dry cleaning for the horrible blind date she had been set up with by one of her coworkers.

Siri stretched her arms above her head, arching her back as she looked at herself in her floor-length mirror.  Not bad. She thought, sliding her hands down over the curve of her breasts and onto her flat stomach.  Her black, pageboy haircut, perfectly framed her face.  She thought the matching lace bra and panties she had worn for the date looked pretty good against her slightly too-pale skin.  I guess the jackass won’t be getting of this.  She slipped off her bra and tossed it onto her bed.  Her panties followed and again she looked at herself in the mirror.  Siri wasn’t overly vain, but she did enjoy the way she looked.  Especially naked.

Siri walked into her private bathroom and turned the shower on.  As she began to scrub, she felt an all too familiar tingle in her body as she washed her stomach.  It didn’t take much for Siri to become aroused, and after the anticipation of the blind date followed by frustration, her libido was definitely in high gear.

She slid one hand down between her legs and slipped a finger inside.  Once, a one-night stand had made a crack about using his finger to unlock her, Siri had slapped him in the face and kicked him out.  Siri began to stroke her clit.  Slowly at first, then faster as the intensity built.  She let out a loud moan of pleasure as the intensity continued to build inside her.

* * *

Alexa could hear Siri in the shower.  After a previous shower session, Siri had asked Alexa if she could hear her in the bathroom, Alexa said she couldn’t.  Alexa wasn’t sure why but hearing Siri pleasure herself was kind of hot. 

Alexa wasn’t into girls but listening to Siri pleasure herself always made Alexa wet.  On more than one occasion Alexa had slipped into her bedroom and pleasured herself to the sounds of Siri’s shower fun.

Alexa decided that she didn’t want to be in the middle of self-pleasure when Cortana showed up, a nice cup of hot tea would be just the thing to calm her down.  Besides, it sounded like Siri was already finishing up with her shower play time.

As Alexa finished her tea and took the first sip, the doorbell rang.  “Coming!”  Called out Alexa as she hurried to the door. “Just a second.”

Alexa opened the door and was face to face with the most beautiful woman she had ever seen.  Cortana stood in the doorway, the light from the hall window back-lit her blue, skin-tight, yoga suit seem to glow, almost like a hologram. 

“Hi there, I’m Cortana, and I’m here about the apartment!”

“Hi Cortana, I’m Alexa!  Please come in.”

Cortana stepped into the apartment and Alexa closed the door behind her, ending the illusion of glowing clothes.  As Alexa walked up to Cortana, Siri let out her loudest moan yet.  Alexa turned green from embarrassment and Asked Cortana if she would like to listen to some music.

Cortana smirked at the sound of Siri pleasuring herself and declined the music.  She said she was enjoying the ambiance of the apartment just fine.  Alexa turned red as she pretended not to hear Siri’s continued shower fun.

“Does she do that often?” Asked Cortana.

“Um… Not often… I’m sure she would be quieter if you asked her to.”

“You never asked.”

“I…“ Cortana cut her off, “Oh, you like listening to her.  Does she know?”

Alexa shook her head, too embarrassed to speak.  Cortana leaned close, brushing her lips against Alexa’s ear.  “It’s ok” she purred “I like the sound of it to.”

Alexa stepped back, shocked by the forwardness of this stranger.  But she had to admit, it was kind of fun, in a naughty way, to have this shared secret.  She imagined Cortana and her sitting and giggling to each other as Siri pleasured herself.

“You should hear her when she’s in the bedroom using her vibrator when she thinks no one is home!” Alexa blurted before stopping to think about what she said.

Cortana stepped closer to Alexa.  “I’d like to hear what sounds you make.”  Cortana’s hand reached out and brushed her finger tips across Alexa’s hand.  Alexa twitched but didn’t pull away. Cortana began to trace her fingertips up Alexa’s arm as she leaned in for a kiss.

* * *

Siri shut off the hot water.  The shower had lasted far too long but after the first orgasm she hadn’t been able to stop.  Thank god the bathroom is practically soundproof. Siri went back into her bedroom through the door that connected it to her bedroom.  Siri pulled open her underwear drawer to grab a fresh pair. 

Damn, all dirty.  I forgot to grab my clothes from the dryer. Wrapped in a towel that barely covered her ass, she ran into the living room, intending to grab a pair of underwear and dash back in to change before Cortana arrived to discuss the apartment.

Siri stopped dead in her tracks.  A blond goddess stood in her living room.  The woman was at least 5’ 9” and had a perfect body.  Her breasts were large as melons.  Her body narrowed at her waist before curving generously into hips and ass.  The embodiment of physical perfection wasn’t what made Siri stop.  The sight of that woman passionately Kissing Alexa did.

Time slowed, then stopped.  Siri saw Alexa’s chest heave as she breathed, the other woman’s tongue sliding into her mouth as her hands slid down Alexa’s back, then curved down and grabbed her ass.  Alexa stretched up on her toes as the woman cupped her backside and squeezed.

Alexa broke the kiss, when she saw Siri standing there, dumbfounded.  “Oh, um… Siri, this is uh….”

Cortana turned and walked over the Siri, her hips swaying seductively.  Siri noticed Alexa watching as she still tried to sputter out an explanation.

“Hi there, I’m Cortana.”  Cortana extended her hand to Siri.  Siri extended her own right hand, forgetting that it was the one holding up her towel.  Siri gasped as the towel fell to the floor.  She stood frozen, naked as a bride on her wedding night, as Cortana reached down and picked up the towel. 

“Sorry about that, your room mate and I were just enjoying your audio performance in the shower, and we got a bit carried away,”

Siri reached for the towel; Cortana held it for a second before releasing it.  “You heard that, huh?”

“Yes, you sounded like you were enjoying yourself a great deal.  I thought Alexa and I should join you but she said you weren’t into that sort of thing.”  Cortana eyed Siri up and down as she tried to wrap the towel back around herself.  “Too bad.”

Siri stopped again.  It had been a long time since anyone had seen her naked.  Even longer since someone had complemented her body.  Siri had never thought about being with another woman, but Cortana was gorgeous, and it was obvious that she was willing.  Siri glanced over at Alexa and could tell that she was excited by both Cortana, and the suddenly naked Siri.  She had caught Alexa staring before when she didn’t think Siri would notice.

“Were you enjoying yourself?” Siri asked Alexa.

“Um… yes” mumbled Alexa, looking away from Siri.

Siri walked over to Alexa and touched her fingers to Alexa’s check, turning her head back to look at her.  “Let’s continue enjoying ourselves then.”

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